Pennie Copper

Me: A customer comes into the computer store. “Im looking for a mystery adventure game, with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging”

Yesterday my best friend and I decided to go back to one of our childhood restaurants that we both had not been to in over ten years. It use to be a hamburger joint and malt shop but when we got there it was more like a fast food joint, old, small, and dingy. We ate there anyways, hoping that maybe the slight bit of nostalgia we were looking for would still be in the food. It was not.

We ate our meals in a booth, no one else was in the shop except the 3 waitresses watching ‘Telemundo’. That is just one more place that I will have to pack away to only memories. In a way that is a little sad but most of me is unaffected by this transition.

Even though no other children will know the feeling of ordering a chocolate malt with chocolate syrup and two cherries there will be other places for them to remember; and I will always have my memories. I feel like I am always brought back to the idea of change. I guess that is something that wont ‘change’.

Me: The clerk replied “Well, have you tried Windows 98?”

5/31/11

Me: How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

You: How many?

I am exhausted today. I should not have stayed up half the night finishing a book. I love getting lost in someone else’s thoughts. The only downside to reading well written books is that they have to end sometime; but, that is really all of life. Everything comes to an end. I find that a comforting thought. I cling to the instability in life because, even being what it is, it is the only constant.

I think I am in the middle of a big change in my life. I am starting school again soon, which I am very nervous about. I do not know if I have what it takes to go through with all the schooling it takes to become a Pathologist but i am going to try my hardest. That is what matters. Trying. I just have to keep trying.

Oh, and remember to breathe.

Me: Eno!

5/30/11

Me: knock knock

You: Who’s there?

Me: Doughnut

You: Doughnut who?

I am in a darkened state today, probably due to the fact that my head hurts and the tylenol has not kicked in yet. I have spent today cleaning and cooking and now I am winding down with my computer, a book, and the tv. Because I have spent most of the day in my own head I am a little more depressed than expected.

I feel dirty. Like no matter how much I clean I wont ever sparkle the way people are suppose to. I am aching to fall back on my old ways, my old habits; but I resist. I have been stronger than I ever thought possible. I wonder if I will ever beat this. Time will tell I guess.

Distractions are the best tool I have. Someone distract me from myself. I am self loathing but not enough to implode within myself. I will not stop fighting to save myself from me. I just have to remember to breathe and forget where I put the scissors.

Me: Doughnut worry, it is just a joke!

5/28/11

Me: knock knock

You: who is there?

Me: Jupiter

You: Jupiter who?

I am an hour and thirty minutes late for this post but I am not going to let that keep me from titling this post ‘5/28’. I am at work right now. There are three shifts where I work: 6am-2pm, 2pm-10pm, and 10pm-6am; I am working the latter. I work at a foster facility for abused, neglected and HIV positive children. It is not a glamorous job but it is a rewarding one. The overnight shift mainly involves cleaning and organizing-things of that matter.

Tomorrow I get to work with the kiddos. I may be late in writing tomorrows post as well, now that i think about it. THere are 6 kids in the house that I work in. They range from 6-1 years of age. I think tomorrow we will play pirates and go on a treasure hunt. Maybe. I am not sure yet.

Well I am just rambling so I will stop that now. I need to get back to cleaning :)

Me: Jupiter hury or you’ll miss the bus!

5-27-11

Me: ‘what are Caterpillars afraid of?’

You: ‘What?’

Just so you know I am not use to writing things that are not dark by nature. By my past writings you would definitely file me under the term ‘emo’. I do not think that I whine as much, nor do I want to wallow in whatever depressive funk that penetrates my thoughts. That is why I will probably not write long amounts at one time. When I do they seem to twist and evolve into saddened reflections of life and past experiences.

I want to grow out of that. I know that it is possible and hopefully this blogging will assist in doing so. I have never written anything like this. I feel like sometimes I am forcing myself to do this day to day but I am glad it is being accomplished. So far I feel that these would be boring reads for the public. Good thing I am not writing for it I guess.

I think I want to create some sort of flow to these; so they are not aimless thoughts day by day. I will work on that. Well I am off to attempt to write a love poem, a happy one. I have not written one of those in at least 5 years. Wish me luck!

Me: “Dogerpillars!”

5-26-11

Me: What did the digital clock say to his mommy?

You: what?

I am lacking inspiration and motivation today; at least when it comes to writing. I guess since this is in the beginning stages I should take this time to tell you a little about myself. This task is seemingly more difficult then most would suspect because , I will be honest here, I have a slight bias toward what I want myself to be and what I am.

Because I am faced with the task of being truthful I am going to start with hard facts. I am female (just in case you could not tell). I am over all a small person; 5’3” tall, and around 110pounds. Even with my small frame and bone structure I have a good amount of muscle and could, as they say, ‘pack a punch’ (not that I have had to do so in a long time).

I am, like most Americans, a mutt when it comes to ethnicity. I have some Scottish, Welsh, and Native American in me (shame on you if you have a dirty mind). Because of the american Indian blood I have high cheek bones, along with other genetic qualities, that make me look like I am always smiling, even when I am not. When it comes to identifying markers I have a couple of birthmarks and a few more scars. I have no tattoos, but my ears are pierced and so is my navel. My hair is naturally brown. -At the moment that is all I can think of.

On a less concrete note (I promise I am trying my hardest to be honest here) I think I am like a dark comedy with some hopeless romanticism thrown in. I love science and english, and I respect math but my brain struggles to understand it sometimes.

I like to always be doing something. The thought of being bored terrifies me. Being alone terrifies me, my own thoughts terrify me. I have a lot more fears but I do not find the need to get into them now. I love it when the weather changes. Be it fall or spring the idea of change brings me comfort and hope. I think I will end on this note. It is uplifting and I like to end that way. I will talk more about myself as this blog continues.

Me: ‘Look mom, no hands!”

Me: Knock knock

You: Who is there?

Me: Sarah

I want this to be more than just a diary publicly splayed out for people, or the lack there of, to see. I want to bring something different to the table. Something that makes me stand out (what a strange desire to be unique in a world lacking such a quality). I am not quite sure how to do that or if it is even possible. To be honest, I am not sure why I want to do it to begin with. But I am going to try anyways.

I like the idea of starting or ending with a quote but that seems like the easiest thing to do, seeing how I came up with that idea in five minutes. Maybe it will be a joke instead. That way, no matter what I am writing about; be it how boring work is or dead puppies, I will end on a happy note. I like that idea. You know what? That is what I am going to do. After all, that is what life is all about; striving to be happy.

You: Sarah who?

Me: Sarah reason you’re not laughing?

The begining

So I do not know what blogs are for or why people use them. They seem a lot like a facebook status update with less people to read them but I have decided I will use mine to write. I dont know what I will write or how much but once a day I will write something down here.

I do not expect anyone to read this but is open to the whole world; that makes it feel more exciting. It probably produces the same feeling that people get from having sex in public places. The same sense of exposure and release. —That is another thing. I am planing on writing whatever I feel like. I do not want to censor my language or thoughts; and, my thoughts can be quite corrupt to say the least.

I am only taking slight anonymity but if I write about someone then I will probably change their name and things like that as to not get in any legal trouble (to be honest I do not know quite how that works but I am covering my ass).

I hope this goes well and if you are reading this i hope you are entertained by what I put down here.

One of the few trees in Vegas, I had to climb it.

tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

the bottom of the ocean!